How to Survive a Job Loss When “The Economy” Sucks

Almost 18 years ago, I lost my first job as an attorney. It was a shock, but not a surprise; the economy was sliding, I didn’t have a lot of work, and I had no idea what I was doing. At first, I thought I would be able to bounce back relatively quickly. I lined up interviews, and one firm told me I’d have an offer after the new year. That offer never came. By early 2008, the markets were tanking, and my career felt like it was over before it began.

I don’t want to sugarcoat it, I fell into a deep depression. This was the kind of depression where you don’t remember whole months. Eventually, I started clawing my way out, step by step. Some of my emergence was fueled by volunteering with the Obama campaign; being around that much hope is contagious. A lot of my emergence was just taking one tiny step at a time, over and over.

Considering today’s environment feels eerily similar to fall of 2007, I thought I might share a few lessons I learned about how to not lose yourself when you lose your job.

Let in the light.
When I was stuck in the darkness, I focused only on what I might lose. The danger felt constant. But when I allowed light in, first by volunteering at the Obama campaign headquarters, then by writing a TV pilot, by making myself do something that felt alive, I started to notice possibilities again. Darkness and light always coexist. If you only look at the dark, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.

Let your community support you.
Everything good that happened during those years came from people. Friends gave me laughter, temp work, a listening ear. Later, my comedy classes at Second City became another community that carried me forward. Shame says you don’t deserve support. The truth is, you do.

Ask for help.
Support doesn’t happen automatically; people can’t read your mind. I learned the hard way that if you don’t ask, you probably won’t get the help you need. I asked my friends to keep their ears open, and put in a good word from me. Between that and hiring my first coach, I was finally able to find a permanent role as an attorney. That investment in asking for real help changed the course of my life.

Take care of your soul.
In the U.S., we define ourselves by our jobs. So when you don’t have one, your sense of self can collapse. I know mine did. What saved me was finding things that reminded me who I was outside of “attorney.” Comedy, volunteering, boot camp, and even just reading something interesting, they reconnected me to me.

Take care of your body and mind.
Stress lives in your body. During that period, the more I let my health slide, the worse everything felt. Staying physically well, even just walking outside, gave me the strength to keep showing up. And keeping my mind engaged through learning and creating kept me from drowning in despair.

Don’t get your cheese on everyone else.
Stress often feels like being a grilled cheese in a hot pan - the heat makes everything spill out. I had moments where my frustration leaked onto the people around me, and they didn’t deserve that.. The only way to prevent this is to take care of ourselves first, so the spillover doesn’t scorch our relationships.

Invest in yourself.
It feels counterintuitive when money is tight, but you have to invest in yourself. The coach I hired, at a time when I could barely justify the cost, helped me finally land a permanent role as an attorney after two and a half years. That decision gave me my career back, and eventually inspired me to become a coach myself. Some investments pay dividends you can’t measure in dollars.

Have fun.

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This one sounds trivial, but it isn’t. Having fun was what reminded me I was still a whole human being, not just “someone unemployed.” Fun gave me purpose to keep going, even when nothing else was working.

I hope you never need these tips. But if you do, please know: whatever you’re going through, it won’t be permanent. You can get through this. Sometimes what looks like an ending is just the beginning of something you never imagined.

If you’re navigating a career disruption, or supporting someone who is, hit reply and share what’s been helping you. If you feel stuck and haven’t been able to gain traction, let’s connect. I can help.

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